Emotionally Cheating On Your Relationship?
Most relationships, from dating to long-term marriage, suffer from emotional cheating. Determined emotional cheating.
Why do we say “determined”?
Because most people suffer from the false belief that they aren’t lovable AS IS (otherwise known as The Fear of Being Fabulous). So they won’t show up in their relationships AS IS.
They think they’ll be more lovable if they pretend to be:
** happy all the time
** helpful and doting all the time
** funny and fun all the time
** s..ex..y all the time
** gorgeous and spiffy all the time
** and on and on and on . . .
So, what happens? They can never feel loved because who they REALLY are is never available to love and be loved.
And their partner knows, consciously and unconsciously that something isn’t quite right, even if they can’t name it. They know there’s more they want. Something quite fabulous, but they don’t know how to get it.
Typically both people are dancing this game of pretense and both people feel cheated.
And they ARE being cheated.
We knew a woman a few years ago who was bright, creative, ambitious, loved jazz, AND had a wildly raunchy sense of humor. BUT she thought men would be turned off by her humor, so she came off more like a stuffy, maiden librarian than a fun-loving, full–throttle, stand-up dame.
Are you surprised to learn that she had never attracted a man she could fall in love with?
Of course not. The right kind of man could never see her, who she really was, and would find other women who fit the bill.
Under her falseness lived the truly wonderful, intriguing, always fascinatingly complex Fabulous Person that the right kinds of men would want to be with.
But she never believed that.
Even though somewhere, deep inside, waaaay deep inside, she lived with the knowledge that she shouldn’t have to live with the fear of “being found out.”
But she did. Opting for her fear rather than for love.
Now, having read that, you know better. Somewhere deep down inside you now know better . . .
So what can you do?
1. Admit to yourself that you are living a lie.
2. Acknowledge that the person you are with can’t truly love you because you’re hiding your real value.
3. Decide whether you want to keep hiding how fabulous you are . . . or you’d rather make a break for the freedom of being your Real Self.
4. Confess your fear and your hiding to the one you’re with, or at least a close friend.
5. Determine to come out, come out, come out little by little, bit by bit and see how people respond to the Real You.
6. Receive their sincere love and enjoyment just being with you, the Real You. The Fabulous You!
7. Know that you’re on the fast track to changing your entire life . . .
Ready . . .
Get set . . .
GO!
NOTE - Be sure to watch for our holiday special on our program “Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous.”
