Whenever I ask a group of tech company leaders this question:
“How many of you laugh or giggle or in some way play it down when you are given acknowledgment, praise, or compliments?”
Everyone raises their hands and laughs.
Why do they do play themselves down?
The answers range from:
– “I don’t want to appear arrogant.”
– “I was raised to be humble and modest.”
– “It might give the wrong impression if I believe it of myself.”
– “My parents raised me to play myself down as a way of showing my humanity.”
– “If I accepted it I might blush and look stupid.”
Then when I move along to discuss the power and importance of managing up with leaders in their company, most of them fidget or react in some other awkward manner. Why?
Because in some ways most people, most people anywhere, have not really grown up. They’ve not yet truly left home. So they do not have internal permission to behave like a fully developed grown-up who has internal personal power and influence.
What about you? What do you see in yourself that creates a Fear of Being Fabulous?
Judith Sherven, PhD and her husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD http://JudithandJim.com have developed a penetrating perspective on people’s resistance to success, which they call The Fear of Being Fabuloustm. Recognizing the power of unconscious programming to always outweigh conscious desires, they assert that no one is ever failing—they are always succeeding. The question is, at what? To learn about how this played out in the life of Whitney Houston for example, and how it may be playing out in your own life, check out their 6th book: http://WhatReally KilledWhitneyHouston.com
For a great read that relates to this topic, my husband Jim’s Leaving Home Trilogy – a three-part autobiographical fiction series based on Jim’s growing up in 1950s factory-working Polish Detroit…has just begun to be released with the first book “Worship Of Hollow Gods” now available on Amazon in kindle and paperback – and was a #1 New Release and #1 Best Seller on Amazon.