One of the markers of childhood is the need to have the environment – that is the family, neighborhood, church, etc. – provide a sense of being alive.
For example, mothers are constantly creating things for their children to do to keep them busy. So children learn to rely on what’s outside of them as a source of their life. They are children and have little internal sense of self they can rely on.
But, as we grow up our internal sense of self is supposed to emerge. But there’s no guarantee of that happening. Many of us remain hooked to outside stimulation and cannot hear the whispered prodding of our own soul.
But intimacy is about sharing what we’re like inside and receiving what our partner shows about his or her inside.
By “inside” we don’t mean ideas you’ve snatched from someone else. And we don’t just mean feelings. A sense of self begins to grow when you consciously decide to shift from looking out to others to stimulate you and begin to rely on your inner self.
That’s the time to turn your attention inward and listen. Become intimate with what is going on inside you.
Actually, it’s rather easy to do. The next time something’s happening you think is important, ask yourself, “What does my soul have to say about this?” And then listen.
We use the word “soul” as a way of getting past what you’re accustomed to and triggering a deeper, more genuine response.
If you persist, you will become more and more secure with your own internal landscape. And then the sweetest intimacy will open itself to you, an intimacy with your Self, with others, with life, with God, with being.
Let go the habits of childhood and step into your own soul.
If negative mind chatter persists in getting in your way, Judith & Jim created a powerful program for you, “Overcoming Negative Head Talk.” Gift yourself the gift of freedom by going to: https://www.judithandjim.com/overcomingnegativeheadtalk